Maximum Geek, revised and enhanced. Now with cats!
Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, eat grass, throw it back up and mice yet munch on tasty moths. Destroy couch put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Claws in the eye of the beholder the best thing in the universe is a cardboard box cats are a queer kind of folk and plop down in the middle where everybody walks vommit food and eat it again for lick arm hair. White cat sleeps on a black shirt purr for no reason nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! or i can haz open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow!. Somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock. Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr. Ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway. Find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out relentlessly pursues moth then cats take over the world, meow meow mama but chew on cable eats owners hair then claws head.
Experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo. A nice warm laptop for me to sit on lie in the sink all day but so you're just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy?. Furrier and even more furrier hairball see owner, run in terror so dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain. Refuse to leave cardboard box refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am bite the neighbor's bratty kid and run in circles play with twist ties yet cats woo cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws. Leave hair everywhere making sure that fluff gets into the owner's eyes but play with twist ties the door is opening! how exciting oh, it's you, meh and human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!! but sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night . Meow to be let in vommit food and eat it again, stares at human while pushing stuff off a table lick arm hair yet purr when being pet. Meow to be let in rub my belly hiss for touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr or sniff sniff so chase imaginary bugs, wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human's bed and fall asleep again. Plan steps for world domination get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper. Hide head under blanket so no one can see knock over christmas tree. What the heck just happened, something feels fishy. Crusty butthole.
Page text by Cat Ipsum.com.
I got bored with the previous version of the site.
Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, if it fits, i sits meow and walk away for hate dog or ask for petting. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen. Suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage mew love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! or have my breakfast spaghetti yarn. Lick butt cats making all the muffins, for intently sniff hand, for scratch the box russian blue for need to chase tail. Need to chase tail kitty time claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand. Cat ass trophy cat mojo plays league of legends bite nose of your human. Walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield allways wanting food find a way to fit in tiny box sleep on keyboard, or asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard).
Stare at ceiling light grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish poop in litter box, scratch the walls give me attention or face the wrath of my claws fall asleep on the washing machine. The dog smells bad where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! yet fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) plop down in the middle where everybody walks and pee in human's bed until he cleans the litter box twitch tail in permanent irritation. I could pee on this if i had the energy ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl. I heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day for good now the other hand, too cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle?. Mew has closed eyes but still sees you. Relentlessly pursues moth. Inspect anything brought into the house decide to want nothing to do with my owner today stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside so let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway ask to be pet then attack owners hand.
Destroy couch as revenge under the bed, yet it's 3am, time to create some chaos for jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water or as lick i the shoes. Get my claw stuck in the dog's ear do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy for claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? so snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner. Freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn so groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep and eat all the power cords bite plants.
Nobody Reads This Anyway.
Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, cough furball love, or meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat. Enslave the hooman fall asleep upside-down murf pratt ungow ungow. Sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping lick butt, but found somthing move i bite it tail. Friends are not food catto munch salmono for check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr and cat walks in keyboard and pose purrfectly to show my beauty. Catch mouse and gave it as a present making bread on the bathrobe. Steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter. With tail in the air fat baby cat best buddy little guy for eat half my food and ask for more then cats take over the world pretend not to be evil. Kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute?
Jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans. Sitting in a box the fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws hide at bottom of staircase to trip human cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws for get video posted to internet for chasing red dot but slap the dog because cats rule. Cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters' slippers hunt anything that moves, but blow up sofa in 3 seconds sitting in a box gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don't want it anymore meow bye, or drool. Always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose lick yarn hanging out of own butt and terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry so scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me damn that dog , and toy mouse squeak roll over.
Annoy kitten brother with poking the cat was chasing the mouse. Licks your face. Jump off balcony, onto stranger's head. Plan steps for world domination. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. Hiss at vacuum cleaner. Sleep everywhere, but not in my bed it's 3am, time to create some chaos catching very fast laser pointer spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce flop over kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute? prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark. Murf pratt ungow ungow while happily ignoring when being called.